Dec 12

Dec 12 "Women Supporting Women: Building a Support System Abroad Combating Street Harassment & Other Forms of Sexism" by Juliana Cosenza

Unfortunately, sexism is a painful reality for women throughout the world. Sexists exist globally rather than the common misconception that they are concentrated in specific areas. However, traveling to a foreign country with a basic understanding of the main spoken language can make this universal female reality of sexism and harassment even more unsettling. The purpose of this post is to not only share my experience with harassment during my time abroad but also to offer various coping mechanisms that can ease the negative feelings which can exude from such unfortunate scenarios. Namely, I want to re-emphasize my first point that sexism, including harassment, cat-calling, assault, etc. occurs worldwide, even in the United States; therefore, one should not decide against studying abroad in Amman, the Middle East, or any other foreign country simply because of this. Rather, we, as women, and allies of gender equality can offer each other as resources for support in order to continue to live our lives despite these forms of discrimination.

Despite my excitement about studying in Amman, I felt nervous about my position as the only female student from my university studying in Jordan let alone the entire Middle East and North Africa region. When I discussed studying abroad in the Middle East with my adviser and teachers at Villanova University, my Arabic professor talked to me about the probability that I will encounter street harassment and unwanted male attention, especially as a female student who visibly appears as foreign. The purpose of this conversation was less about invoking fear or swaying me away from deciding to study in the Middle East; rather, my professor sought to make me aware of my surroundings so I will not be caught off guard if I experience similar occurrences during my time abroad. In the months leading up to my departure date, I remember reading various online blog posts and watching YouTube videos about foreign women living in Jordan. I anticipated that these videos would “prepare” me for this new adventure. Yet, no matter how many resources I consulted, I realized that every female experience is different as is mine. Therefore, I would have to resort to experiencing life in Jordan firsthand rather than relying on these external sources from different women. But overall, in this pre-departure phase, I did think that having a basic awareness about harassment as a foreign woman was a helpful tool that somewhat prepared me for my semester abroad.

“We, as women, and allies of gender equality can offer each other as resources for support in order to continue to live our lives despite these forms of discrimination.”

Despite all my attempts to “prepare” myself for living abroad in Jordan, I was still caught off guard by instances of harassment and unwanted male attention. Most of these instances involved men trying to talk to me on the street, honking their car horns, or awkward, prolonged stares. These instances happened when I was walking down the street with a large group of girls, and they only ceased when I was in a mixed-gender group. Of course, these situations can make any woman feel uncomfortable, disrespected, etc.; however, they reminded me of similar scenarios I have experienced as a woman walking the streets of Manhattan, emphasizing that sexism, including cat-calling and street harassment, can happen anywhere.

During my first week since arriving in Amman, AMIDEAST held an informational session harassment which offered various steps should you encounter a dangerous situation and coping mechanisms. For me, this was the most helpful orientation session I participated in because it provided me with one of the strongest coping mechanisms I could have while abroad: a strong female support system, containing AMIDEAST staff, teachers, and other students. In this session, we engaged in dialogue about our personal experiences with harassment before and after arriving in Jordan. By reflecting on our identities as women, we came up with a list of healthy coping mechanisms, including working out at the gym, communication with each other, or therapy sessions.

It took me a few weeks before I was comfortable traveling alone around Amman, such as going to the gym every morning. After adjusting to my surroundings, such as the neighborhood surrounding AMIDEAST and my host family, I was ready to sync into my daily schedule despite performing certain activities alone, such as studying at a café, working out, and so forth. While I consider myself aware at all times, I am even more cognizant of my surroundings when I am traveling alone; an example of this is that I personally choose to ride in an Uber or Careem rather than a taxi because that is within my comfort levels. However, the perception that taxis and taxi drivers are “dangerous” or more inclined to make you feel uncomfortable as a woman is not necessarily true.

The most uncomfortable situation I have experienced with harassment and unwanted male attention occurred with my Uber driver. During my ride, the driver initially asked me questions about why I was in Jordan and if I liked it here, which is common small talk etiquette within taxis. Then the conversation quickly turned uncomfortable when the Uber driver asked me if I was in a relationship, if my “boyfriend” was visiting me in Jordan, and how he would treat me right if he were my boyfriend. At this point, I was close to my house, and so I conducted the Uber to drop me off a few houses down from mine, ensuring that he would not have any record of my location. However, after purposefully opening the door to a different apartment complex and waiting a couple seconds, I peeked out to go into the building with my host family apartment inside, and I noticed the Uber car was still outside. At that moment, with adrenaline pumping throughout my entire body, I ran into my house and quickly locked the door behind me. I told my host mom what happened, and I reported the driver through the Uber app. Through my own experience, I can attest that the connotation of taxi drivers as automatically creepier than Ubers or Careems is inaccurate. I have been in many taxis that were much more pleasant than this Uber. However, at this moment, I remained calm, thought ahead of myself, and in the end, I was safe.

If you are ever in a similar situation with a driver, I suggest reporting the driver if they are driving with Uber or Careem, but if the driver is from a taxi company, remain calm and when you exit the taxi, take a picture of the car’s license plate. This way, if you seek to report the driver depending on your situation, the license plate can easily point out the driver’s taxi company and the driver’s identity. In these uncomfortable and sometimes scary moments, have your phone close and remain in contact with either a friend, your host family, or AMIDEAST staff so that you have a person who knows your location and can come meet you somewhere else if need be.

Another helpful tip to share is to refrain from responding to the harasser. Trust me, this can be an extremely difficult piece of advice to follow. On some days, we are able to ignore comments on the street, honking car horns, or irrelevant stares from random men. However, there are reasonable bad days where a singular car honk or unsolicited, inappropriate comment on the street makes me want to snap back. However, in these moments, it is especially important to re-channel your energy for your mental stability and personal safety. Find the best channel in which to release your negative emotions; some common, helpful ways include but are not limited to yoga, simple meditation and breathing techniques, working out, journaling, listening to music, ranting to a friend or AMIDEAST staff, or therapy. (Note: AMIDEAST does have contact with a well-known therapist in the Amman area who offers sessions to AMIDEAST students).

“Communicating your feelings and experiences to other people is both helpful and validating.”

To put it simply, sexism sucks. It sucks in the United States just as much as it does anywhere else in the world, even Jordan. However, the reality of experiencing sexism, such as harassment, in a foreign country, especially one in which you do not speak the main language fluently or know your surroundings as well as you would at home, this form of sexism through cat-calling, street harassment, etc. can be more intimidating. In this way, it is helpful to formulate strong, positive support systems in which you can help each other in moments of discomfort, sadness, or anger. I cannot stress enough how communicating your feelings and experiences to other people is both helpful and validating; if not, you can fall into traps of normalizing these experiences by brushing off instances of street harassment as “normal” because “that’s the way it is,” “cultural,” or “flattering,” all of which it is not, or refusing to communicate or channel your emotions may result in bottling your emotions, building up to your breaking point that could put yourself or others at risk. Therefore, it is important to not only be aware of yourself and your surroundings but also utilizing the most powerful tool there is in combating sexism: a strong female support system.